Internet! Internet! Guess what guess what guesswhatguesswhatguesswhat!
MY OLD ENGLISH BOOK CAME IN!
While I realize that there's only a narrow percentage of my readership who legitimately cares about this development and of that margin, the percentage who are also excited is likely negligible, I'm still going to gush for about a paragraph because I'm probably the only person I know who asked for a textbook for his birthday twice and was genuinely disappointed when he didn't get it the first time. I started studying Old English by myself a couple years ago during my free time in the library (because yes, I spend my free time in the school library) partly out of idle fascination, and partly because I was a little sick of people erroneously bitching that they didn't understand 'Old English' whilst reading Shakespeare. I've been studying it off and on since then and now I can proudly tell those people "Bicce, þisne ist Eald Englisc!" (Bitch, this is Old English!). I'm still not sure if that's totally grammatically correct, but it'll evolve over time.
Gut morgen, Internet! How is everyone this week? For me, I crossed the wrong way in front of a roving gang of physicians and got shot in the arm for steppin'. I'm still recovering from the ordeal, emotionally and physically, but on the bright side, I'm vaccinated from Meningitis. Seriously though, remember how scared I said I was of bees? I very nearly feel the same way about needles.
Pretty much the most horrifying thing on Earth to me.
It's that randomly specified time again, Internet! Our third Super Special Saturday Bonus Post! Before we get into it though, a couple things. First, I'd like to share a moment with you; how to suddenly have a pretty good day in five easy steps.
1) Get up to go get something
2) Make it halfway there and completely forget what you were getting
3) Shrug and decide to get a glass of water
4) Return, realize that's exactly what you got up for.
5) Celebrate accordingly!
*Scans room* Whew, okay. While I am grateful for Ivy taking over for me while I punched my way out of a Mosasaur, she scares the poop out of me. How do you think I got in there in the first place? It wasn't actually that hard getting out though because there wasn't any skin left. The Museum people sure were angry at me.
Also, for those interested, besides being really interested in Dinosaurs, Ivy runs a cosplay blog that she's just revitalized and which you can find here
Anyways, now that I've fulfilled my continuity requirements, this Sunday was Mothers Day! How did you guys celebrate your mom? Like most people, I did it with tiny paper bunny rabbits and Chinese food.
If you have to ask why, then clearly you don't love your mother.
Note from Tom: Hey there Internet! It's Finals week over here and...well, I can't write a post. Filling in for me this week is my good friend Ivy, come to share her love of Dinosaurs. YAY DINOSAURS! Posts by yours truly will happen again next week and a new poll is up again this week. YAY POLLS!
Um…well…hi, Internet! I’m sure you’re all on here expecting our dear, lovely Tom…but I’m afraid he won’t be making this week’s announceme--..writing this week’s blog. Unfortunately our gallant author encountered a nasty little accident while researching our topic, something I’m afraid I warned him of a great many times!
You just can’t study the inner workings of a marine reptile’s jaws in the Cretaceous while wearing a meat thong. (It was hard Salami. wink wink--Tom)
But not to worry, Internet, dear ol’ Tom’ll pop out eventually I’m sure. For now, however, I’m afraid you’re stuck with me. So allow me to introduce myself; my name is Ivy. Yes, like the plant. Yes, like the Batman villain. YES, like the Christmas Carol. I’m a buddy of Tom’s and, upon his desperate urging while being swallowed alive, have courageously taken on this endeavor. I don’t usually write things like this, but I’ll give it my best shot as I indulge in a favorite subject of mine… Weird-Ass Beasties from the Dawn of Time.
It sounds a bit like a horror movie from the 20s, doesn’t it? But don’t get your hopes up for two-headed Tyrannosaurs battling it out in black-and-white on a claymation screen; the little tour I’ll be taking you on is much more colorful, much more fun, and honestly, much weirder.
Internet, look at the sidebar, now back to me, now back to the sidebar. Unfortunately, the sidebar isn't me; if it were me, the ladies would need a moment to change their underroos and the men would have hetero-erotic erections out of pure appreciation. You might notice that it's not something else, either; it's not a poll. There's no Poll this week, Internet! Now before you begin looking under your beds, high-fives, or voluptuous bosoms for the wayward poll, stop! Because there is no poll this week.
Take a deep breath, calm down, it's going to be okay. This isn't the end of internet democracy. Democracy's just taking a break because democracy has finals next week and really can't afford to spend next Tuesday night writing about Dinosaurs or popular culture or something awesome like that. Democracy is also a metaphor for Tom, in case you were a little slow to pick that one up. It's okay, I won't judge you.